better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
how drunk are you?
Several
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
