It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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