doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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