Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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