Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
