If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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