So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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