she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
