absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
