you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he quoted the bible to break up with me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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