my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
