I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize