I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
