Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
