I wish I could punch you in the face.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
