i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
