yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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