..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
