u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
