You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
