I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
