last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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