But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
