Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize