My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
