so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
