Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
