NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They took my balls.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
