3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
