Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
