addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
