I'm jealous of your bromance
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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