Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
