Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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