Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
