Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
