i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
