I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
