yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
