Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
