Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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