he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
