Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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