Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
