for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
