whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
