She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm really busy with my period
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