Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
