small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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