If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
