I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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