I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
