Please don't use social media to get back at me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
