Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My feet surprised me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
