capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
