That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
