3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize