I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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