So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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