dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
