I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
