Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
