that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We got so high we made milksteak
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
this will be a night to untag.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
