it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
