I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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