I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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