Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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